Journey To Self
Relating with Self
This is the tough part.
What drives you? What motivates you? How are your relationships? Can you relate to only a certain kind of person?
Given the divorce rate and how much attention they get, we tend to think of relationships as the hard part, and they are hard work. However, our relationships with others are only as good as they relationship that we have with ourself. We will not be able to relate well with another, in a honest soulful way, until we can relate well with ourself.
Life is ultimately about our relationship with ourself.
Two of the most important things for relating with Self:
Mindfulness is the way we get to know ourself. Mindfulness was once described as "paying attention on purpose." We pay attention to all aspects of our experience: what we are thinking, feeling, saying, doing, seeing, hearing...all of it. Meditation is a great doorway for experiencing mindfulness. In meditation, the only goal is to stay completely present with one's experience, over and over again. The "over and over" again must be understood as the mind will drift off into thoughts of different sorts and "over and over" again we bring it back to whatever the focus of our meditation is.
There are many forms of meditation, one popular form is Vipasana or Insight Meditation. This style uses the breath as a subject of focus. To learn more you can follow the link to the Insight Meditation Center website where you can hear a guided meditation.
Self compassion and love may be the even harder aspects. It sounds easy and also narcissistic but really loving yourself can be a tough thing to do. We love our spouses, our children, even our jobs but at the end of the line usually is ourself. Plus, most of us has a "critic" within us judging every step of the way, telling us that we are unworthy of love or acceptance unless we show up a certain way.
Each of us has a unique path to walk and way to self love and compassion. One of many resources is the work of Tara Brach who has written and recorded Radical Self Acceptancewhich approaches loving and accepting the self from the Buddhist's perspective.