Journey To Self
Win-Win Communication!
Win-Win Communication is not something people are always used to. We have been taught from very young that if someone wins the other loses. Think of the games you grew up playing; they were likely based on competition and out-playing someone else, your "opponent."
In win-win communication both win. A series of steps are followed which lead to an outcome that both parties can live with. The only caveat is that at least one person needs to be practicing Active Listening and nonconfrontational communication. Nonconfrontational communication is simply communication that avoids all the communication barries and sticks with the things that encourages communication, such as:
- attacking a specific behaviour, not the person or their character
- naming how the behaviour impacts you (a feeling)
- noting the tangible connection between the behaviour and how it affects you (why it makes you feel that way)
In win-win communication we listen and confront in a non-destructive way.
Here are the formal steps:- Approach:
Approach the other person recognizing that there is a problem. Be unthreatening but opening state that there is a problem. - Define the problem:
This is where the parties (or party) switch gears, back and forth from active listening to non-destructive communication. This step is used so both understand the problem and what each others' needs are. It ends by summarizing this understanding and both agreeing. - Brainstorming:
both parties knocking ideas around. New ideas always come up during this phase, it is also participatory which allows both to feel a sense of commitment to the process and goal. - Agreement of Solution:
this would be like a contract, of sort. - Implementation:
these steps seem obvious, but stating them allows us to stay on track and with the process. - Follow-up:
It is a good idea to revisit the issue, again using active listening to really understand that the solution is working for both.