Follow Darlene from the beginning to losing over 150 lbs!

Her most prominent days of training will be shared for the first time publicly dating back 2 years. Witness her failures and successes, the ups and downs of achieving and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
***Journal entries released every Thursday


Installment 1: September 22, 2006.

RJ has asked me to write a journal entry for today. Wow. Not really sure what to think. On Sept 19 I weighed in at 283 pounds. Holy cow! I am feeling many different emotions about today: excited, embarrassed, proud, unsure, happy. Running the gamet. Really didn't think that I could finish what I was doing. Actually thought that I was going to break down and cry. Then I said a quick prayer and continued. Can't believe that I was in a gym exercising dripping beads of perspiration on the floor while people were watching. I could see myself through others eyes and I was horrified. All I could do was just concentrate on what I had to do and do it. Had to block out everything else or I am not sure that I could go back and do it again. Can't believe that I was actually there. Still shaking my head. Not really sure how I would rate how I did. How do you rate someone who is 150 pounds over weight. I keep thinking about how I did, I need to stop thinking about measuring up to some standard/norm. All I can do is continue to try my best. Wasn't surprised at the food. I was aware that I was eating too much at one time. When I eat I usually fell stuffed when I am done. I know what needs to be done and need to get better at it. It is great to have it on paper and great to have areas of improvement pointed out. I need all the information and education that I can in order to be successful and I fully intend on succeeding. I know I can do it. There is no quiting this time. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet,fad or temporary change, this is for life.

Installment 2: September 28, 2006.

Having a bad day. Do not know where my excitement and energy went to. Not recuperating from RJ's last session and today I am up for another. Feeling anxious about it. Upset with gym no one able to help me yesterday. Got a girl and the counter who says she doesn't work out at all because she doesn't have the time. Honestly not what I needed to happen. Guess this is all part of it. I do not, will not fall off of the program for success that I am following. I have lost 6 pounds and intend on losing another five by next Tuesday. I am sure I can do it. I have to. I would have been fat for the rest of my life. Not what I want. Chances are though....? It helps to write it out. RJ doesn't push me beyond what I can do. I need to focus, push people out and not worry about others and what they are thinking. The better the session the quicker and more positive the results will be. I am never alone. God is always with me and He carries me when I am weak and tired. There is a plan it is up to me to make it work. NEVER GIVE UP. PUSH YOURSELF. I CAN DO IT. I need to LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. "Looking after yourself everyday and putting forth your best effort to love yourself to do what is best for you".